Thursday, 6 December 2012

Thankful and Happy

When I woke up this morning at 7am I remained as still as a doormat. I braced myself then tentatively wiggled my left foot....nothing felt. My hand..nothing to note. No. Bloody hell, I couldn't believe it. I sat up and swivelled around with my feet on the floor. I stood up. Only a small ache. Fucking hell a miracle. I was so excited to tell Mrs K. I am going to buy a T-shirt with the words "I love Steroids" as it is a miracle drug! I felt so much joy. I have been off work for a while now virtually bed bound. I cannot describe how bad the pain has been in my hand, wrist, shoulder, ankle, foot, neck...etc.... I have been waking in the night and crying because of the pain and my inability to reach the painkillers without being in more pain. I have even struggled to wipe my own bum clean after using the toilet. I have been scared about my loss of independence. I saw a rheumatologist yesterday. yes I have inflammatory arthritis. yes I am starting a drug in 2 weeks - a low dose of a chemo drug - which I will have to take for years and am not allowed to drink. hey I will be a tee- totaller, But he gave me a jab yesterday of steroids It has taken away my pain. And I feel hopeful and lucky and happy... because + my pain has lessened so there is not reason why I can't continue to be pain free and get my life back + he does not think it is rheumatoid arthritis which would be a worse form of arthritis + I am lucky I haven't got anything more serious or debilitating. And I cant wait to get a back to work. work is important to mental well being. So hoorah to being pain free and independent.